


can't you see it's burning out of control

by TheSubtextMachine



Series: One Thing Leads To Another [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Infidelity, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Oral Sex, POV Kurt Hummel, Porn with Feelings, Shower Sex, The Boys Go To Scandals, it is not debatable anymore, kurt's subtle top energy, list making to the max, makes the most sense if you read the first one, the inherent homoeroticism of dunking on blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24812392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSubtextMachine/pseuds/TheSubtextMachine
Summary: The sequel to "drown in my desire for you", in which Kurt and Sebastian fall further into each other without Blaine noticing.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Series: One Thing Leads To Another [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780240
Comments: 25
Kudos: 219





	can't you see it's burning out of control

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston! Also thank you to @jwmelmoth for beta-ing this!

All Kurt can do sometimes, when things get truly and deeply complicated, is remember the simpler times.

Namely, the simpler times before the current moment, in which Kurt wasn’t getting a handjob from Sebastian in Blaine’s shower. 

“What’s one thing he doesn’t do for you?” asks Sebastian, huffing it out in his ear while the water of the shower pounds on them. There’s steam in the bathroom, and Kurt can feel it fogging up any conscience he had before sleeping with the devil. 

“I- I don’t know what you-” says Kurt, before ducking his head so his forehead can rest on Sebastian’s shoulder as he gasps, a wave of pleasure flowing through him.

“It’s simple,” whispers Sebastian, “He doesn’t do everything you want, tell me one thing he doesn’t do, I’ll do it for you, unless it’s like-”

“Crazy, I know. I don’t know, it’s not like I spend time thinking about how Blaine isn’t fulfilling me, and-”

“One thing,” says Sebastian, and he cranes his neck down to Kurt’s, peppering kisses along the line of his neck. 

Kurt hears a soft snore through the door, and remembers how easily Blaine let him go into the shower with Sebastian, even if “me and Sebastian are going to shower” didn’t exactly hint towards this. Was he really that confident that nothing would happen? A flood of spite strikes Kurt, a bitter sort of anger at the fact that his life is where it is (namely, in Blaine’s shower with Sebastian). He lets his head fall back as he whispers the response.

“He doesn’t talk. During. Not that it’s- it’s not a dealbreaker, but it would be nice to hear- I don’t know, some dirty talk. He says it makes him feel gross,” says Kurt, and he chances a look down at Sebastian’s face, even if it is buried in his clavicle.

Sebastian’s hand is still moving at that expert pace, moving between slow and teasing to quick and intense, and Kurt can feel his grip on all reason loosen in Sebastian’s hand.

“You want me to talk dirty to you?” asks Sebastian, and Kurt can feel the warm puff of air against his neck, and there’s something so intimate about it that he feels a bit winded. 

“Yes.”

“Where should I start?” Sebastian asks. His hand slows down, and with less friction, the mouthing at his neck seems more intense, more pronounced.

“Freestyle,” whispers Kurt.

The droning sound of a snore breaks through, and Kurt almost snaps back to reality.

Almost.

“I can’t stop thinking about it.” Sebastian takes his lips away from Kurt’s neck, and places them right by his ear, making every word loud and clear to him. “I can’t stop thinking about you fucking me.”

Kurt can’t pinpoint why hearing Sebastian’s voice saying these words are affecting him so much. He begins to thrust against Sebastian’s hand, not caring about how far gone it makes him look.

“I don’t know where you learned it, but the way you just- I don’t know how you made me feel so good, like you were made for it- fuck, I’m about to be vulnerable here-”

“My dick is in your hand, I’m as vulnerable as they get right now,” says Kurt.

Sebastian can’t keep himself from letting a breathy laugh leave him in response, and he continues. “I just- there’s something about you, Kurt, I just want- I want you. I want you. And, seriously, your _body_ -”

Kurt cuts him off by coming on Sebastian’s hand with a sharp gasp, and his body relaxes in a way that makes him lean on Sebastian for support. When his orgasm is done, he pulls himself away, and quickly becomes aware of his surroundings.

First, his hand is on Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian’s very _nice_ chest. 

Second, there’s still snoring from the other room.

Third, Sebastian is hard. 

Kurt looks down at his dick, then up at Sebastian’s face, then back to his dick, then Sebastian’s face. They’re staring at each other, suddenly tense, waiting for one to make the next move that’ll decide how this’ll go.

“I’ll, umm… I’ll suck your dick if you keep talking to me,” says Kurt at a rapid fire speed, as if he can’t wait to get the words out.

Kurt remembers that Sebastian spent a significant amount of his pre-shower time giving Blaine oral, and when the memory hits him, his determination to do it increases. He puts his hand on Sebastian’s hip, and lets his voice drop.

“Consider it payment for the… brave work you did today.”

Sebastian smiles at that, and turns to back up against the tile wall of the shower. “Sounds like a good deal. And all I have to do is-”

“Talk, yes. I won’t even talk back,” says Kurt, and he gets on his knees.

The tile of the shower is a bit unpleasant against his legs, but that’s nothing compared to the comfort of the warm spray of water on one side of him and the enthralling sight of Sebastian, looking down at him with unbridled intensity.

Kurt places a soft kiss to Sebastian’s thigh, before looking back up at him. “I believe you were on a track before I interrupted. Please continue.”

Sebastian pulls in a deep, shuddering breath and Kurt wraps his lips around the head, and begins.

“I was talking about your body, I think. There’s something about seeing you naked, I think- your legs are just so long, and it’s a sin that you cover them up and _fuck_ ,” rambles Sebastian, letting out the last word on a harsh whisper as he braced himself against the wall. Kurt looks up at him to see his reaction, and as if to twist the knife, Kurt circles the head with his tongue, inducing another shuddering sigh.

“How the fuck did you get so good at this?” whispers Sebastian, before Kurt swats softly at his hip to remind him of his side of the deal. “Yes, that. Your legs. You’re really flexible, and I want you to wrap them around me sometime, I think that would be fun. Also that thing with my head in between your thighs and you squeeze a little? I would like that. Am I too loud? I don’t want Blaine to walk in on this.”

At this, Kurt pulls off. 

“Do you think that he’ll think this is cheating?”

“Is it cheating for two bros to take a shower together?”

“Well, if those two bros have sex in the shower, then yes,” says Kurt, and he listens closely. The snoring has stopped. He gets off his knees, and pokes Sebastian’s (unfairly impressive) chest. “I owe you one.”

With that, Kurt gets out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, stepping out to see Blaine, slowly waking up.

“Guess who just took an extra long shower so Sebastian had to wait for me to be done?” asks Kurt. At this, Blaine scowls.

“I thought you two were done with that rivalry,” asks Blaine, his voice slow and sleepy.

“I’m nowhere near done, killer,” says Sebastian, exiting the shower with a towel around his waist, matching Kurt. “If anything, I just want to keep this up, show you how much more virile and sexually capable I am.”

“How does being mean to me make you more virile?” Kurt asks, and he can’t help the teasing smile on his face.

“Makes me the alpha,” says Sebastian, and his lips are pressed together like he’s holding back a laugh. 

“Is that why you’re so insistent on Kurt being there?” Blaine asks, his face revelatory, like he’s just solved one of the world's greatest mysteries.

“Yes, obviously,” says Sebastian.

Kurt can honestly admire his recovery. The man is an expert at bouncing back from an unfinished BJ, apparently. Good to know(?)

“You know me. At this point, I just want to get even,” says Kurt. He and Sebastian look at each other for a moment, in what must appear to be an adversarial way to anyone who wasn’t there for the previous event. The look is meaningful- it’s a promise.

“Oh my god, I have an idea,” says Blaine, slowly waking up as excitement animates his features. 

“What?” Kurt asks with a smile, even though he knows this can only mean trouble.

“You two should, like, totally kiss! That sounds hot.” 

Kurt and Sebastian look at each other, pure panic flashing between them. Time and the silence within it seems to stretch on into infinity, until Sebastian speaks up.

“I think that’s something I’d have to work up to,” says Sebastian with an uneasy smile.

“So you can fuck me with no problem, but kissing Kurt is a big deal?” asks Blaine. He still has that easygoing smile on his face, but it’s dipped a bit, and Kurt feels like this is the calm before the storm.

“Sebastian goes by Pretty Woman rules,” says Kurt. He’s already walking to his carefully folded pile of clothes on the floor when he hears Blaine flop back on the bed and speak.

“Oh my god, he totally does! I guess I’m the exception, huh?”

“Yeah,” says Sebastian, and Kurt can practically hear his classic smirk and shrug combo that he uses to drive the point home.

“I don’t even get why you’re suddenly so into the idea of us tolerating each other,” says Kurt, turning back to Blaine and Sebastian and letting his towel drop before putting on his underwear. He notes that while Blaine is just staring at the ceiling, lost in thought, Sebastian shoots him a helpless glance. “I thought you were kind of into how much we hate each other.”

“Sometimes it gets tiring,” says Blaine, his voice airy and soft and exactly what Kurt would’ve fallen in love with just a year or two ago. 

Kurt holds back the urge to sigh over the fact that, despite its massive inconvenience, he’s grown up.

-

The next day, Kurt finds himself in his room, staring at yet another impossible-to-answer text from Sebastian.

_Sebastian Smythe: So when you promised…? Should I actually hold you to that?_

Kurt, despite being one of the wordiest people he knows, cannot, for the life of him, figure out how the hell to answer that text. He doesn’t even know if the answer is yes or no, let alone any explanation or buffer to make the answer less awkward.

Because, no matter what, the answer will be awkward. He’s either promising Sebastian Smythe a blowjob, or saying that it won’t happen, and Kurt is not in the space of mind to deal with absolute answers that lack a “maybe”. He’s so confused about everything to do with this situation, with his fluctuating feelings about it all, that something as simple as a two sentence text becomes some uncrackable code.

He’s staring at the text, very aware of how the “Read” tag must be telling half of the story, when he gets a text from Blaine to a new group chat.

_Blaine Anderson: I think I have found the answers to all of our problems._

_Sebastian Smythe: How did you invent the condoms that don’t decrease the amount of stimulation??? What’s your secret??_

_Blaine Anderson: okay not ALL of our problems  
Blaine Anderson: But the issue in our threesome_

_Kurt Hummel: And what is the issue…?_

_Blaine Anderson: The way that you two aren’t friendly  
Blaine Anderson: I feel like the arrangement is working great, and it’ll be even better if you guys could, y’know, not despise each other’s touch_

_Sebastian Smythe: Why would that be an issue_

_Blaine Anderson: mnzclkjsnsjd don’t make me SAY it_

_Kurt Hummel: I am not comfortable having sex with Sebastian while you watch, if that’s where this is going_

_Blaine Anderson: Well, of course not yet, but I think if you two spend a little time going shopping, you could get closer and be ready for that  
Blaine Anderson: And what would you two be shopping for, you may ask? Outfits for when we go to Scandals! And at Scandals, we can party it up, and see where the night takes us._

_Sebastian Smythe: If you buy my drinks, I am in._

_Kurt Hummel: I needed new clothes anyway._

Kurt is doing this for Blaine. It was Blaine’s idea. Sure, he had one debatable slipup in the shower, and that other slipup the first time, but this will be a whole day to themselves, and Kurt just needs to remember the rules, and he’ll be fine. 

-

When Sebastian picks Kurt up from his house, right at noon, tossing a flippant “we’ll get lunch at the mall”, Kurt knows he’s in trouble.

The minute he’s in Sebastian’s car, there’s this tension between them that no amount of banter can cut. It doesn’t help that Sebastian puts on some classic French music and sings softly along as they coast down the highway. 

The mix of French music, the way that Sebastian smells (his cologne is still loud in that gorgeous, addictive way), and the way they can’t stop looking at each other is a mix that spells out disaster.

They do make a valiant effort, really, so much that they forget who they are for a few minutes at the mall food court, bickering about which restaurant to choose like an old married couple. Once they sit down with their salads and smoothies, however, Kurt finds that he can’t stop looking at Sebastian’s hands.

Sebastian’s wrapping his fingers around his fork, clutching at his smoothie, squeezing at a packet of ranch. He can’t stop looking, even as he carries on decent, civil discussion on the differences between baking and cooking. 

“Do you want some of this salad? You keep looking at it,” says Sebastian, and Kurt looks up to his face, and _oh that was a mistake_ , because Sebastian has that quiet, knowing look in his eyes.

“I think the cook made yours better than mine. Yours is so… picturesque,” says Kurt, now resolved to look at Sebastian’s face.

“Do you think- there aren’t a lot of people here,” Sebastian says, looking around. “I think we can talk honestly without being worried about a spy passing it on to Blaine.”

“Okay, then. Talk honestly.”

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.”

The words hang in the air for a moment. 

“Me neither,” says Kurt. 

“Do you think Blaine is suspicious?”

“No,” says Kurt, quickly enough that it makes Sebastian raise an eyebrow. “He couldn’t imagine a world where you’re into me, and he can’t imagine a world where I’d cheat on him. You aren’t a threat to _his_ relationship, but you’re a threat to _mine_. That’s the dynamic.”

“Why are you still together?” Sebastian asks.

“He transferred to my school, he’s pushed himself into every aspect of my life. My friends are his friends, and he’s my life now. It’s one thing to break up with him, but if I did that, I’d risk breaking up with Glee Club and everything else in my life, and I- I can’t do that,” says Kurt, and he feels so heavy as he talks.

“I understand,” says Sebastian, looking down at the table with a resigned sigh. “It’s not like you can drop everything and be with me, and I know that.”

Kurt never knew that being with Sebastian was even remotely near the table, but he ignores the possibility. Non-Blaine options aren’t on the table, period.

“So. What the hell are we going to do?” Kurt asks, and he twists his lips into a wry smile.

“Go shopping, I guess.”

-

The mall is surprisingly sparse that day, so when Kurt and Sebastian enter a nearly-empty clothing store, Sebastian feels free enough to run his mouth, and Kurt can’t tell if that shamelessness is one of the more attractive things about him or not.

“So, what energy are you going for here, Kurt? Slutty? Whorish? Loose?”

“Those all mean the same thing,” he answers, thumbing through a rack of t-shirts.

“Not to someone who embodies it. I feel like you could best rock slutty, personally.”

“Which one are you?” Kurt asks, and he picks out a cute t-shirt before putting it back on the rack. Sebastian notices this, and immediately takes it off the rack. 

“Whore. And we will be trying this shit on. I want you to make an educated decision.”

“Okay, okay,” says Kurt, putting his hands up in surrender and walking further into the racks. They’ve reached the nexus between pants, shorts, and short sleeved t-shirts when Sebastian asks for Kurt’s size, which he answers without question. They comb through the store in that way, having quiet conversation while Sebastian and Kurt each pick things out. 

Then, they get to the dressing room, and Sebastian immediately hands Kurt a stack of clothes.

“I’m not- I’m not your maid, I’m not going to carry these in for-”

“I picked them out for you, I want you to try them on,” Sebastian says, and while Kurt feels like it’s one big joke, his face is totally serious. 

“What?” Kurt asks.

“I’ve been to a fair few clubs, and if you want to show off your best _assets_ , trust me. Try these on, and if you hate them, you don’t need to keep them, and if you need a second opinion, just call me over.”

“I- okay,” stutters Kurt, and instead of asking any more questions, he just walks into the dressing room. He tries on a few outfits, and then comes along one that is risque enough to draw the line between “perfect” and “too much”.

He examines himself in the mirror, trying to gauge it for himself. The shirt is cute enough, the shorts are absurdly short but still cute, and he can’t pinpoint whether or not it would fit. With a sigh, he sticks his head out of the dressing room.

“What’s the line between too much and just right at a club?” Kurt asks as he spots Sebastian, sitting on one of the benches in the hallway of dressing rooms. 

“I’ll know it when I see it. Are you going to step out or would you feel more comfortable with me coming in?” asks Sebastian with a wink. Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, get in, it’s pretty spacious and I don’t know if a Lima mall is ready for my legs,” says Kurt. He waves Sebastian in, and only when Sebastian is inside and the door is closed does he realize what he just did, because now Sebastian is _close_.

Not only is Sebastian close, Kurt realizes, but Sebastian is also checking him out. 

“Jesus, Kurt,” he whispers, shamelessly running his eyes down the pale expanse of Kurt’s legs.

Kurt realizes that Sebastian is now close, checking him out, and sporting a semi.

The force of pure and unrestrained _want_ coursing through Kurt right now makes him a bit unsteady, and the added weight of the cologne only makes it harder to resist. He knows that his eyes must be owl-wide by now, but he can’t bring himself to care. 

Kurt, for the first time that day, just lets himself want, even if only for a moment. He lets it flood him- everything he wants to do, how he wants to do it, the power of what he can’t have. He’s sure it shows in his eyes by now, especially since the look on Sebastian’s face only gets more hungry by the second.

It hurts, thinks Kurt, wanting something so much that you can hardly breathe. 

_I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here._

Kurt bites his lip. Sebastian’s eyes flicker down to Kurt’s lips, and it’s over. 

There’s no pretense in the kiss anymore, just the tight intimacy of being pressed up against each other and still trying to pull the other in closer. Kurt only perceives half of what’s happening physically, because an emotional Molotov Cocktail has just been fired in his brain, so the way he’s desperately grasping at the front of Sebastian’s shirt is lost on him. All he knows is here and now, and the way that he’s falling, crashing into Sebastian.

The rest is a whirlwind: Kurt and Sebastian getting out of the dressing room, checking the clothes out (picked practically at random) as quickly as possible, and then the car ride to Sebastian’s house.

Kurt is drumming his fingers on his knee the whole time, thinking in uncertain terms about the mess they’re about to make.

“I think,” he says, almost without thinking, “that we should set up some rules.”

“Rule number one,” starts Sebastian, as if he’s itching to get this out just as much as Kurt is, “nothing that comes up while we are together in this capacity can come up in other places. I can’t make fun of you for Blaine making you bottom when we’re having our coffeeshop fights. You can’t talk about my feelings about your legs.”

“I agree. Rule number two. We do not talk about Blaine unless it is absolutely necessary.”

“Deal. Rule number three. This is between us and only us.”

“Of course. Any other rules you want to add?” asks Kurt, and he can barely hold himself back. There’s so much pent up need in him that he doesn’t know where to put the energy. Drumming his fingers on his knee can only do so much.

“Rule four. No family.”

“Smart. I can’t lie to my dad.”

“We’re five minutes away from my house,” says Sebastian, and Kurt can tell by the way his hands are fidgeting on the steering wheel, that he’s in the same boat.

“You know what? This should be a free for all, I think. You asked me if there’s anything that Blaine won’t do, and there’s more that- I’m sure you have those things that you haven’t trusted someone with, so trust me. You can get me out of your system and fulfill some bucket list items in the process,” says Kurt, rambling in earnest.

“I’m okay with that, but the other party can always refuse, of course.”

“Of course.”

“First up, though, is oral, right? Or do you have something higher priority?” asks Sebastian.

“I’ve never had an affair with this many lists.”

“You’ve never had an affair.”

“Touche,” says Kurt.

“Glad to be your first,” says Sebastian as he rolls into the Smythe residence, and Kurt feels just about ready to crawl out of his skin.

“Let’s do this,” Kurt says, and he power walks to the front door, even if it means that Sebastian is giggling behind him.

When Sebastian manages to unlock the door with shaking hands, the next few seconds become a whirlwind of Kurt pushing Sebastian up against the door, pinning him by his shoulders.

“Is anyone home?” Kurt asks, keeping a few inches of distance.

“No, but I want to do this in my room. Push me up against that door, though,” says Sebastian, and the second that Kurt loosens his hold on Sebastian, he begins to dart up the stairs, followed closely by an equally frantic Kurt. 

Kurt’s following Sebastian down the hall, and he realizes that he is about to, in no uncertain terms, cheat on his boyfriend. 

Even more confusing than that realization is the realization that he doesn't particularly care. 

Kurt’s sure that the guilt will set in at some point, but right now, there’s nothing in his head but the thought that even if Blaine didn’t think he was sexy, there was Sebastian, who ran up stairs and drove him across town just to have sex with him. It’s a rush that flows through him, and he feels a renewed determination to make this happen. 

Then, Sebastian opens the door to his room. Kurt follows him in with a hand on his shoulder, and once Sebastian closes the door, he uses that hand to steer Sebastian around and up against the door. 

The minute his back hits the door, Sebastian gasps, almost as if that action alone provided stimulation.

“I didn’t expect your arms to be that strong,” he says, audibly out of breath. “Please kiss me.”

Kurt leans in, and the wild storm in the kiss has calmed into pure intention. There’s no flailing to touch anymore, and Kurt can feel the warm intensity of having decided what he was doing in it. He has his two hands cupping Sebastian’s face, using his forearms to keep him up against the door. Sebastian’s arms snake around Kurt’s waist, and they kiss like they’re starving.

Sebastian is unfamiliar to him in that intoxicating way- he doesn’t know what his reaction will be when he sucks on his bottom lip (it’s a soft whimper), or when he pulls away and begins mouthing at the strong line of his jaw (Sebastian tilts his head to give him more access, and the soft, insistent poke at Kurt’s thigh becomes a bit stronger). 

“Do you think we could get away with you giving me a hickey? Because I love those,” Sebastian says.

“I don’t think so, since there’s no time between the last time and tonight where you would’ve reasonably gotten one,” says Kurt.

“Next time?”

“Next time.”

Kurt makes up for it by sinking to his knees. 

“We should make a list,” Kurt says, looking up at Sebastian with a smile. 

Sebastian laughs as he undoes the button and zipper on his jeans, and more than anything, that feels to Kurt like an encapsulation of their dynamic. He pulls the jeans down, but keeps the underwear on.

“What, are you laughing at me?” Kurt asks with a smile, “Laughing at the guy who’s about to suck your dick is a bold move, Bas.”

“You’re addicted to lists! It’s cute, but seriously!”

“How else are we going to keep track of all of the stuff we’re going to do?”

“Can’t believe a _list addict_ is about to suck my dick. I’m excited, but this is a whole other world, isn’t it?”

“Whatever,” says Kurt, running his hands up and down Sebastian’s legs, indulging in the feeling of lean muscle beneath his fingers. He brings his hands to the waistband and hooks his fingers in it. He looks up to Sebastian as he begins slowly pulling down. “How much have you been thinking about this? Since I brought it up?”

Sebastian huffs out what Kurt supposes is a nervous laugh as his underwear slowly slides down his thighs. “Did you notice that I couldn’t stop looking at your mouth, like, all day?”

“I was busy staring at your hands,” says Kurt. Then, Sebastian’s underwear pools at his ankles, and Kurt hasn’t felt this _powerful_ in ages.

“Do you want me to talk, or was that a failed experiment? Also, could I, um, put my hands in your hair?”

“Yes to both. Feel free to pull a little,” Kurt says, and instead of elaborating, he dives in.

Sebastian’s hands find his hair soon enough, and give an experimental pull. Kurt takes the chance to look up and shoot him a quick wink, before going full force.

“I’m not going to last long, I’ve been- fuck, I’ve honestly been thinking about this since you brought it up in the shower, and it’s just- you, in those _shorts_ , I picked them out without thinking about what it would do to me, and then I was waiting for you and I thought that you’d just see them and think I was making some elaborate pass at you, and who knows, maybe subconsciously I was,” rambles Sebastian. 

Kurt can feel him getting weaker against the support of the door, can feel the way his hips are beginning to thrust in small, subtle pushes. He hums in soft encouragement for Sebastian to continue.

“If I start listing shit I want to try with you, would that count as dirty talk? Because the usual ‘oh baby this feels so good’ feels inadequate. I’m not usually like this, I think, this is, fuck, there’s just- I don’t know, a weird amount of emotion in this for me, I’m not used to it,” says Sebastian, his voice becoming raw. 

Kurt starts speeding up, bobbing his head and tonguing the slit, needing to push Sebastian closer to the limit. Sebastian’s hips are quivering under his ministrations, and the hands at his hair are pulling it tighter.

When Sebastian comes, it’s a surprise to both of them, and the slow descent down from it is peppered with apologies for not warning Kurt before. Kurt offers him a weak smile and swallows, following it up with a shrug as he stands up. Sebastian is still braced against the door. 

“Do you want help getting to the bed? You look a bit weak kneed,” says Kurt, and he looks around the room. This is the first time he’s gotten the chance to look at it, at its reserved decorations and neat surfaces.

“Sure,” Sebastian answers, and Kurt wraps his arm around his waist and helps him to Sebastian’s bed, which he practically collapses on. “Could you get me a piece of paper and a pencil? It’s on my desk.”

Kurt complies, and quickly finds the desired items. “What do you need it for?”

“I wasn’t kidding about the list, and I want it in a physical copy,” Sebastian says as he writes “Sexual Bucket List” on the header in loopy, private school cursive, using the headboard as a writing desk. 

“Who’s the list addict now?” Kurt asks, taking a seat on the bed next to Sebastian.

“It’s still you. I think you’re just rubbing off on me,” says Sebastian, and Kurt doesn’t understand why that makes him smile.

“Why do you want it to be physical?”

“I’m good at hiding stuff in my room, but not on my phone. Now, what do you want to put on it?”

“Putting me on the spot, wow… how do I know you won’t make fun of me for whatever I put?” 

“Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?” 

“Yes,” 

“Okay, fine. I’ll be the first to reveal my unfulfilled depravities. Item number one: bondage. I’ve never felt comfortable enough with a one night stand to do it, and it looks fun. Would you be okay with that?” 

“Sure,” says Kurt with a shrug. “Also, do you want to put something on? I’m all the way clothed, and if you’re comfortable going full Winnie the Pooh, that’s alright-”

“Nah, this is kinda doing it for me. It’s your turn, for the record,” leers Sebastian. 

“Okay, Winnie. Put riding me on the list.”

“Blaine doesn’t do that?”

“He let me top once, and it was, like, two minutes of missionary before he started laughing,” says Kurt, and this admission, more than admitting anything else, that makes Kurt flush and feel embarrassed. 

“He- he _laughed_? At you?” Sebastian asks, and much to his credit, he looks horrified.

“Yeah. he doesn’t see me that way. I think, for him, it was like watching me try to be macho, or however he saw it. Apparently there’s something ridiculous about the sight of it,” Kurt says.

Sebastian just writes out the words “RIDE HIM” in all caps, and underlines it three times. “What time is it? Because we need to be at Scandals at 7, I think, and we might have time to squeeze something in before then.”

“Scandals at 7, but we’re meeting up at Lima Bean at 6, and we need to get dressed up in club gear before that, so we have about an hour before that, and I think you need a bit more time to bounce back before we do anything, so let’s just work on the list. I’ll go back to your car to get our bags.”

“I’m not forty, I can come without needing a day to recover, but whatever,” grumbles Sebastian.

“Oh, really? Hop on then, cowboy,” says Kurt. “If you really think you can go again.”

“My keys are in my pants pockets,” says Sebastian, burying his face in his pillow.

-

The Lima Bean is different at night in a way that Kurt didn’t expect, and that throws him off enough that he spends their “getting energy for a night out” coffee waiting for the other shoe to drop. Blaine asks what they did today, and Sebastian swoops in with a funny (entirely false) story about the two of them getting into a catfight at GAP. 

This starts Blaine on the story of the GAP Attack, and Kurt kicks Sebastian’s shin in a silent “thank you”.

The shame starts hitting Kurt, in the quiet way that he learned long ago to push down. _Fuck_ he thinks. _I really cheated on my boyfriend today._

Blaine laughs and covers his face in exaggerated bashfulness as he “confesses” that Jeremiah got fired.

Kurt hates him, but only a little. 

He downs the rest of his black coffee, and sighs as he puts it back down on the table. “I need to dance. How close are you two to being ready to go?

“Just in case you haven’t heard, I want to give you a primer on club dancing. First and foremost, No high kicks. I know it’s your mating dance to show others that you are flexible, but I’m going to need you to keep that far from Scandals,” says Sebastian, talking slowly as if explaining something to a child.

“Oh, kind master, thank you for your wisdom,” drawled Kurt, sarcasm blazing. 

Blaine laughs and rests his hand on Kurt’s, “Don’t worry, babe, dancing at clubs is a learned skill and you’ll get there.”

Sebastian laughs, but Kurt sees his eyes widen and he wonders if it’s offense on his behalf.  
Kurt puts his free hand over Blaine’s.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get it too. I’m sure the Spaz Attack will come back in style,” Kurt says with a reassuring smile. Blaine pulls his hand away.

“Too far,” Blaine says. 

“Sorry.”

An awkward silence ensues, broken only by Sebastian finishing his coffee and putting it back on the table. 

“So, We have Blaine’s car and my car. Who’ll be driving in what?”

“I’ll drive in yours and let Kurt drive my BMW to Scandals,” says Blaine, so quickly that Kurt wonders if he’d been preparing to say that for the whole coffee “date”.

“I- okay, sure,” says Sebastian, a little taken aback. Blaine finishes his coffee and flashes his winning smile. 

“Are we ready to go?” he asks, and he tosses Kurt his keys. 

-

Kurt spends most of the car ride to Scandals stewing on the coffee date, feeling himself get more and more angry as he continues the drive. He flips through radio stations, but all the songs are too poppy, too Warbler-y. Kurt’s _mad_. He can’t listen to Katy Perry like that.

Kurt pulls up to the parking lot of Scandals already pissed, and seeing Blaine and Sebastian stand in front of the building, despite his expectation, actually calms him down a bit. The knowledge that they didn’t go in without him, leaving him to try to get through the bar alone, makes him feel better. 

He gets out of the car, keys in hand, and walks over to Blaine with a wary smile. “How was the drive?”

“You parked my car wrong,” is all Blaine says in response. Kurt’s eyes flicker to Sebastian, who’s looking at Blaine with such deep seated loathing that Kurt’s shocked that his gaze isn’t burning holes into Blaine’s back.

“Do you want to repark it?” Kurt asks.

“Yeah,” snaps Blaine, and he holds out his hand. Kurt delicately gives him the keys, and watches Blaine storm off. 

“I’m sorry,” says Sebastian, and Kurt lets his guard down for a moment.

“You didn’t do anything,” he says, and he looks back over his shoulder to Blaine, reparking the car.

“I pissed him off in the car, I think. He made a joke about your shirt and I said I picked it out, and I think he got annoyed at me defending you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” says Kurt, even if he is a bit touched.

“I know.”

There’s a moment of silence between them, before Blaine comes back. His footsteps are heavy, and he leads the charge into Scandals. They get in without issue, and Blaine makes a beeline to the bar. Kurt and Sebastian exchange an exhausted look.

“I’m going to go dance,” says Kurt. 

“Would it be weird if I danced with you?”

“Probably. Go to him, apologize if that’s what he wants, I’ll be on the dance floor. At some point you can just say that you really like the song and come out.”

“Okay,” says Sebastian, and Kurt pretends that he doesn’t recognize how sad he looks.

Kurt finds a spot on the dance floor, and the lights are swirling around the room. There’s a Madonna song on, and he closes his eyes, swaying to it. He starts moving his hips to the beat, and a small smile comes to his face as he gives his shoulders a little shimmy and brings his hands away from his sides to move with the music

He keeps his eyes closed, only opening them when he feels the need to make sure he’s not about to bump into anyone. He lip syncs along to the music, and lets himself get lost in it, in the drums and synth, in Madonna’s voice.

He imagines he’s somewhere else, that things are different. He puts more of his body into the dance as he thinks about it, about being somewhere where he can dance with someone who likes him (his unhelpful mind supplies Sebastian, which he uses for the fantasy). 

Then it’s Whitney, and he smiles for what feels like the first time that night. Something about her voice is healing, and he chases it, singing along to the lyrics under his breath and just letting himself _enjoy_. He feels like another person, like Kurt Hummel and his baggage is far away, until half of his baggage is in front of him, having practically slid on the dance floor.

Sebastian is smiling, which is a good sign. 

“The Blaineby has been pacified, and I figured I could protect your virtue,” says Sebastian with a smirk.

“My virtue?” Kurt asks as the song turns to a Thelma Houston classic, and Kurt is dancing in earnest. Sebastian is clearly enjoying the sight as he dances along.

“I know what lustful glances from across the club look like, and I think having a bunch of guys hitting on you won’t improve his mood. So I’m your chaperone.”

“Sounds like a good deal,” says Kurt, and when Sebastian starts singing along, he starts singing along, until they’re jumping and singing to each other. Some of Sebastian’s moves are so cheesy that Kurt can’t help but laugh. At one point, Sebastian holds out his hand, and Kurt takes it so he can be guided into a spin. Even when he’s out of the spin, they keep their fingers linked together for a moment too long. They pull their hands apart like they’d been burned, and when they continue to dance, they keep more of a distance between them.

“I think I need to go to the bathroom. Go back to the bar and talk to Blaine,” says Kurt, pulling away and moving deftly through the people on the dance floor.

One he’s in the cool air of the Scandal’s bathroom, he walks past the urinals and locks himself in one of the stalls, sitting down and putting his face in his hands. He pulls out his phone, puts it away, and pulls it out again. He pulls up Mercedes’ contact, and sends a text. 

_Kurt Hummel: On a scale of one (we should get married tomorrow) to ten (I thought you two broke up already) how bad do you think my relationship with Blaine is_

_Mercedes Jones: There is a lot to unpack there  
Mercedes Jones: Why are you asking?_

_Kurt Hummel: I’m mad at him and it feels easier to bitch about it to someone who’s not shocked that something could be wrong with the iconic Klaine™_

Just as he hits send, the door to the bathroom opens, and he can hear some conversation.

“I don’t know why you needed me to-” says a voice that sounds like Sebastian’s, and then the sound of a back being pushed against a stall door.

“Kiss me,” says a voice that sounds like Blaine’s. 

“There could be people in here, and- the _rules_ , Blaine,” says Sebastian, and there’s no question about it anymore. That’s Blaine and Sebastian. Against the stall.

“Screw the rules, I _want_ you,” says Blaine, and Kurt can do nothing but sit and stare at the direction the voices are coming from, even if it’s masked by a wall.

“And I don’t want Bitch Hummel on my ass, Blaine,” says Sebastian, and Kurt can hear the stress in his voice, the frantic pitch of it. 

Kurt doesn’t know at what point he needs to intervene, but he stays put for the moment, knowing that if he walks in on this, the night will go nuclear.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” says Blaine.

“You’re drunk,” says Sebastian.

“I only had one beer.”

“That’s not true. I saw you drink them, remember?”

“Don’t you _want_ me, Bas?”

“We can talk about this in the morning, Blaine, but if you and I hook up, I need you to be totally sober during it.”

“It’s not an if, baby, it’s a when,” says Blaine, and Kurt can practically see his cheesy smile. Then, he hears footsteps, the opening and closing of a door, and a sigh.

Kurt sits absolutely still, refusing to make a noise. He even holds his breath.

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” says Sebastian, and Kurt breathes a sigh of relief.

He stands up, unlocks the door, and sees Sebastian, his back against the wall, looking towards Kurt.

“It’s not a surprise. I think sometimes he just wants to see how far one of us will go for him,” says Kurt, his voice weak. Sebastian walks towards him, hovering in the doorway of the stall. 

“He needs to work his shit out,” says Sebastian.

There’s a moment of silence.

“How’d you know it was me?” Kurt asks, and his voice has gone soft.

“The bitch boots,” says Sebastian, and Kurt laughs so hard with a mix of exhaustion and relief and affection that it seems everything is released in that moment. He hears “I Wanna Sex You Up” through the walls, and it makes him laugh harder.

He looks up through teary eyes at Sebastian, who’s laughing too, albeit not with his whole body like Kurt is. 

“Thank you,” says Kurt, even if he doesn’t know exactly what he’s thanking Sebastian for. Sebastian opens his arms, and Kurt falls into a hug, breathing Sebastian and his cologne in, and despite everything, it feels so _right_ that he can’t be upset. They hug for what seems like forever and a second all at once, and when they separate and go back out to the dance floor (taking all the precautions so Blaine doesn’t see them), it feels like something irreversible has changed between them.

**Author's Note:**

> thank y'all for reading! I hope you enjoyed <3\. Leave a comment to brighten my day, and/or check me out on tumblr @thesubtextmachine!


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